I haven't been feeling great lately, and my Oura Ring showed clear signs of strain yesterday. It picked up on the stress my body was under, which matched how I was feeling. Still, I felt well enough to go to the gym, and I try not to skip Mondays.

By my fourth set of hip thrusts, I sat there getting ready to lift 410 pounds, trying to motivate myself. Really, I was looking for reasons not to do it. It's okay if I don't do this fourth set. It's okay if I only do a few. It's okay to not go as heavy. It's okay if I get up and go home.

I spent 5 minutes negotiating with myself about that fourth set, agonizing over it. You know how long it took me once I shut out the voices? About 45 seconds.

I think we often talk ourselves out of things when they get hard or uncomfortable. We say we don't have time, we don't feel well, or it's too hard, or it won't make a difference. Over time, we get used to this way of thinking. It happens a lot with diet, nutrition, and fitness because those things are challenging, and it's tempting to take the easy way out. It's easy to say, "This one muffin isn't going to matter," or "I'll be fine if I skip a workout."

When you keep negotiating with yourself, you get better at it. Each time, you strengthen that habit and find ways to justify it, but you don't make progress in the areas you're negotiating. You might not notice right away, but after 1 year, 5 years, or 10 years, all those choices add up when you look back or wonder, "What could have been?"

I'm not saying it's easy to do the hard thing. It's normal not to want to do it, and it's okay to look for a way out sometimes. But you can't always let yourself off the hook. If you don't hold yourself accountable, who will?

One thing I've learned in this hard but beautiful life is that you have to cheer yourself on. You need to be your own biggest fan, your own hype person, and your own shoulder to lean on. You can't count on someone else to always be there when things get hard or when you need encouragement. But you can count on yourself. The person you are today should be the biggest hype woman for your future self. You need to have her back.

My Suggestion For You

The next time you find yourself trying to talk yourself out of something you know is good for you, like a healthy meal or a workout, pause and ask what your future self would want. Then do the hard thing for her.

When I finished that fourth set, I gained more than just physical strength. I proved to myself that I can do hard things, and that confidence carries over into every part of life.

It's okay to decide to walk away sometimes. Sometimes it's better not to push through, or you just need a break. I'm not saying you should always fight through pain or discomfort. But if you notice that negotiating with yourself has become a habit, remember your future self.

No matter what, remember that doing something is always better than doing nothing. A little bit of something adds up to a lot over time. A little bit of nothing adds up to nothing. Choose the action that moves you forward.

What I’m Loving This Week

When 3 Body Problem came out on Netflix a couple of years ago, I loved it. The storyline grabbed me, and with a second season coming soon, I downloaded the books onto my Kindle.

The books are a trilogy by Liu Cixin, and they're about humans making contact with aliens in an effort to relocate their population from an unstable planet to Earth (I promise it’s a lot cooler than it sounds). It’s a good story that makes you think, and that's what I love. I can't put them down.

If you're looking for a great book for the fall or winter, then I'd definitely recommend giving this series a go. And watch season 1 if you haven't already!

Because You Didn’t Ask…

Last week I was complaining about it being over 100° in San Diego. You may have seen on the news that most of Southern California was under a storm watch, and the tides caused massive flooding.

We’re doing fine here in San Diego, but the weather has been wild lately. I know some people don’t believe in climate change, but after going through these extremes, it’s tough not to.

Great chat! Let's do it again next Tuesday.

Xx,

Andrea

P.S. If you haven't joined the Behind the Body community on Facebook, come join us! We're talking about all things health, fitness, nutrition, and habits after 40, and I share resources there that you won't get anywhere else. You can join here. I hope to see you there!