BEHIND THE BODY

Diet • Fitness • Lifestyle for Women 40+

I'm the happiest I have ever been with my body.

I'm 45, and I've kept 20 pounds off for 10 years. I’m strong, and I honestly like what I see in the mirror more than I did at 35.

And I still pick myself apart ALL THE TIME.

I'm built like a 12-year-old boy. No waist, no hips, and when I gain weight, it shows up everywhere at once, so there’s no hiding it. I will catch my reflection on a good day, and instead of seeing a strong, healthy body, I go straight to the 2 or 3 things I dislike and would change.

Here is what I finally understand about that habit in my 40s. Finding flaws is automatic. To many of us, it feels like the default. Years of internalizing others' comments, comparing ourselves to everyone around us or online, and every message about how we are supposed to look have trained our brains to never be satisfied.

Noticing what you like about your body is not automatic. You have to do it on purpose. And if you never do, you end up in the strangest spot: years of effort, results you earned, and a voice in your head that talks like none of it ever happened or was ever good enough.

And that voice can ruin so many moments, like getting dressed for something fun but hating the way you look in everything. Or the group photo you delete before anyone else sees it. Or standing in a dressing room, listing everything wrong instead of noticing how far you've come. The moments it ruins are the ones you did all this work to enjoy.

And for a lot of us, these are the best years. If you have been moving your body, eating well, and building muscle, there is a decent chance you look better right now than you will in 10 years, and better than you give yourself credit for today. I would hate for either of us to waste this precious time only to realize that in hindsight.

I won't pretend that the habit of picking yourself apart just switches off. Mine hasn't. But those 2 or 3 flaws only feel like the truth because they're all you ever look at. The things you like, unfortunately, never quite get the same attention.

My Suggestion For You

This week, I'm going first. You could probably list your flaws right now without even thinking. Almost none of us could do that with the things we like about ourselves. So instead of asking you to write that list, here is mine, so you have a finished one in front of you:

1. I like my strong, toned core and have worked really hard for it.
2. I am reliable and always keep my commitments. People can count on me.
3. I was brave enough to quit my 17-year corporate job to follow my passion and build a business that teaches women my age how to do this, and I show up for them every week.

I'm telling you mine because writing a list like this feels strange, even uncomfortable, the first time, and it's easier when you've seen one. Now, I want you to write down, or at least say to yourself in the mirror, the top 3 things you like about yourself, and at least 1 that has nothing to do with your body. Let this list reinforce just how incredible you are. Take a minute to gloat and be impressed with yourself. You deserve it.

What I'm Loving This Week

Some friends who are into Ayurveda got me into tongue scraping. Yes, it's one more thing in my routine, but it takes maybe 15 seconds, and I do it first thing in the morning before I brush. It scrapes off the buildup of bacteria that causes bad breath, and it does it better than brushing your tongue (which, for some reason, grosses me out). Your food can taste better too! This is the one I use.​

Because You Didn't Ask...

My husband and I have our 12-year wedding anniversary in less than a month, and we've been going back and forth on whether to do something special since we just got back from Hawaii. We've been exploring driving out to Sedona, about a 6 to 7 hour drive for us. We've never been, but it looks beautiful, and I'm picturing hiking, maybe a day of golf, maybe a day at the pool or the spa. We haven't booked anything yet because we're still trying to convince ourselves we should go. Have you been? What did you love, or what would you absolutely do again? Let me know!​

Great chat! Let's do it again next Tuesday.

Xx,

Andrea